Posted by: Tamara Harrison | June 7, 2011

Peace in the mess


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Lately I’ve been trying so hard to figure myself out. Yesterday I spent an hour talking to God about why I do the things I do, why I sometimes act so out of line with His will for my life. Why I return to my bad habits and give in to the temptations that leave me discouraged and empty.

See, I thought that by taking a hard look at my mind and heart I would come to a logical conclusion that would bring some sort of enlightened understanding. My background in psychology brought all sorts of behavioral jargon to my mind in an attempt to make sense of things, but it just left me more confused.

Why couldn’t I figure myself out? Why couldn’t I just realize why I do what I do and change it? I spent all morning trying to “help myself” in this way.

The only conclusion I came to that morning was that I am indeed a big mess. I don’t like that I snap at my husband yet I do it all too often. I don’t like that I obsess over food and perfection, but it seems like I never learn. I know I need God’s word in the morning to give me peace throughout the day, but I rush through my time with Him.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever tried to make sense of why you do the things you do, wanting to change so badly but not knowing how?

As I was searching my mind and heart, I felt God nudging me in that tender way He does, telling me to just listen to what He has to say.

God reminded me that His peace is always available for me. He waits for me to accept it but when I choose to busy my mind with thoughts and anxieties His peace has nowhere to dwell.

See, the word “peace” comes from the primary verb “to join”. This meaning is so exciting to me because it implies the joining together of two things. Peace isn’t something that we inherently have; it comes from joining our minds with God.

Joining my mind with God means to focus on Him, who He is and what His promises are. This brings a peace that soars above my intellect, a peace that tells me it doesn’t matter if I can’t figure myself out. A peace that tells me that it’s God’s job to “fix me”; my job is simply to draw near to Him and obey Him.

I love the Message’s translation of Job 22:21:

“Give in to God, come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine. Let him tell you what to do; take his words to heart. Come back to God Almighty and he’ll rebuild your life.”

I can’t tell you what these words did to me. You know, I still haven’t figured myself out. But these words tell me that I don’t need to. God in His wisdom simply asks me to receive His peace and allow Him to continue His transforming work in me. If I “give in” to God’s peace, I won’t need to spend any extra energy trying to fix myself. I’ll leave that job to my Creator.

Will you lay down your desire to fix yourself and simply give in to God’s peace by joining your mind with Him?

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