Posted by: Tamara Harrison | June 14, 2011

One Lost Sheep

For years I pushed God away. I remember my mother talking to me about God and me hating it. I would put my fingers in my ears and tell her I didn’t want to listen.

My biggest excuse at the time was that I wasn’t ready to live for God. I thought I would lose so much. I told myself that now isn’t the time, that I would have to “fix” myself before I could ever start living for God. I reasoned with myself that religion was only for people who were old, certainly not for the teenager who wanted to have fun and needed to fit in with the world.

The interesting thing about my mother’s attempts however, was that I would instantly start crying whenever she would tell me about my need for God. It only took a few words on the subject before I would feel this deep conflict inside my soul. I didn’t understand it, I only knew it was painful and I didn’t want to face it. I wanted to ignore it. And so I would run away crying, put a blanket over the pain, and continue on with my life.

Looking back, I now see that this pain inside of me was a battle between knowing that there was a God I was responsible to, and wanting to live apart from Him.

I now understand that as God’s creation, we are all born with an inherent knowledge that He exists. (Romans 1:19, 21, 32). Along with this knowledge, God gives us free will, the ability to choose.

And so when my mom would talk to me about God, I chose to reject it. In fact, it made me angry when I would hear about Him. The same thing would happen on the very rare occasion that I would agree to go to church with her. I was absolutely convinced that the preacher was staring right at me because he knew I was rejecting God! And every single time, I would feel that pain and start crying. I believe the tears came from the deep conviction that my Creator wanted to have a relationship with me and I was saying no. I didn’t understand it at the time, but looking back, it’s so clear.

Another time, when I was travelling, someone came up to me and asked me if I thought I was a good person. “Yes,” I said boldly. She asked me if I had ever stolen anything at all. “Well yeah…” I said, thinking, “So what, everyone has.” She asked me if I had ever lied or hated anyone, and told me that hating someone is the same as murdering them in God’s eyes. I got increasingly uncomfortable. After admitting to all 3, she told me “so by your own confession, you are a lying, stealing murderer”, and continued to tell me that if I didn’t get forgiveness through Jesus, my destination would not be heaven.

I can’t tell you how MAD I was! I remember calling my mom and screaming through my tears “How dare they speak to me like that! They have no right!! I AM SO MAD!!!”

This person may not have shared Christ the same way I would today, but the reason I was so furious was because I knew that something was missing and the Truth was so glaring that I didn’t want to face it. I think I was trying to justify my rejection of God and the fact that I couldn’t made me mad. I didn’t want to deal with it.

And so I continued with my life, consuming myself with temporary highs to satisfy me.

Jesus tells a beautiful story in the Bible:

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!” (Luke 15:4-6).

Are you the lost sheep in this story?

Jesus is tenderly calling each one of us into a relationship with Him. He calls us to trust in Him, cast our cares on Him, follow Him, live for Him.

Friend, what you think you’ll lose by giving your life to Christ will be more than abundantly made up in what you gain.

Believe me when I say that the hole in your heart is God-shaped, and anything you try to stuff it with just won’t fit. It might seem to cover up most of the empty space but there will still be darkness around the edges. The only thing that will make the hole whole, is the blood of Jesus Christ. The blood He shed for YOU to forgive your sins and bring you into right standing before God.

And you don’t have to “fix” yourself or get your life into shape before you come to Him. As He said, it brings Him more joy than anything else to find you just as you are, pick you up, and make you whole.

Moreover, you don’t have to fear the change. God will take care of every little detail as you walk with Him. I’m living testimony of that. I quit my job, He gave me another one.

I gave up my entrance into university, He gave me entrance to another one.

I had to leave all my friends, He gave me countless more.

I gave up my empty desires, He filled me with new dreams.

I gave up darkness, He gave me light.

I gave Him my wounds, He gave me healing.

I gave Him my sorrow, He gave me joy.

I gave up my striving, He gave me rest.

I gave up living for myself, He gave me a bigger purpose.

I gave up eternal death, He gave me eternal life!

So where are you today? Have you run away from Him?

Maybe this short video will say more than I can. This is a powerful testimony of God’s grace and desire to restore that one lost sheep.

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